Image source: Mayur Gala
As I deepen my understanding about how we as human beings experience the world, something I notice more and more is this; human beings have an amazing ability to make life far, far, more complicated than it needs to be.
This was brought home to me recently when I was asked one of the most profound questions I have been asked within the past few years.
The question was this:
“Fiona, are you in love with life?”
It was a question that literally stopped me in my tracks.
“Was I in love with life?”
I actually didn’t know and for someone who has been actively researching studying and finding ways to help others live a life they love. I was astounded at the impact this one simple little question had on me.
“Fiona, are you in love with life?”
I wasn’t even sure what this question meant for me.
Images flashed through my mind of happy times, moments of pure joy when I was feeling loved and expressing love. My children, my family, my husband, and my work, were all there right in front of me, but I still wasn’t sure if this was the correct response to that question.
What does it mean to be in love with life? And is this even important?
The question had been asked by a mentor of mine, someone whom I greatly admire and respect and I knew simply because they had posed it that it was important.
So I nervously and with some trepidation asked “What do you mean, am I in love with life? “
What he said in response, made me think about life in a way which I had previously only ever really skirted around. In the past I had only thought this way when I felt the need to make myself feel better, to overcome a low mood, or because I thought I should….
What he said was this; “Some one who is in love with life notices things other people don’t. They see the sunlight streaming through the leaves of trees, they notice the drop of dew on a plant, they see bees bustling around carrying pollen from flower to flower, they notice way the wind moves… they feel joy in these things and they can feel the miracle that they are a part of.”
Image Source: Joshua Earle
They notice these things because they have learned to slow down to the speed of life, and because of this they can see and feel the miracles that are constantly all around them. They can see that every living creature is a miracle and that the operating system which created us, that flows through us always, that miracle of formless energy which some people refer to as the universe and others refer to as God or spirit or Buddha, is working perfectly.
They give themselves permission to notice these things in the present instead of waiting for external circumstances, such as a holiday, a day off from work, winning the lotto, or finally buying their dream house. And as they start to notice these things, and to really experience the beauty and magnificence of what’s already there, they begin to feel full…
They begin to feel full in a way that has a profound impact upon the way they experience the world.
I sat and contemplated this for some time after we had finished speaking and I began to notice what I had not been noticing before. And the amazing thing was that as I noticed this, I noticed something I simply wasn’t expecting, I started to show up in the world in a completely different way.
I was calmer, less anxious, slower, and less reactionary. My expectations for those around me decreased and I was more aware of my own thinking, the rules that played out in my head and how I projected these onto those around me.
The impact on my life was simply astonishing…..
My relationships improved, particularly those with my children and my husband. I was more appreciative of who they were, rather than assessing whether they were living up to my own expectations of who I thought they needed to be just so that I could feel better. I felt more present and I noticed gratitude was something that started to flow naturally into my life without me having to remind myself that I “should feel it.”
I could really see how important it was that I guide my clients towards loving life so that they too could experience the sensation of appearing in the world differently.
I assist people with their relationships and by far the biggest and most important part of this is teaching people how human beings experience the world and then assisting them to take responsibility for that. You would be amazed at the impact this has on our relationships no matter if it is a partner, a colleague, family member or friend.
The next time you are feeling disconnected from someone you love, I really, really, recommend that you take a moment to consider just how in love with life YOU are. Then take some time to slow down to the speed of life; you will be amazed at how full you feel and the ripple effects this will have on those around you.